IC Inbox | Carlos Oliveira

[sendinthedelta]

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Carlos Oliveira ⬤ Resident Evil 3 (2020)
residential district ⬤ Level 2
moonblessing ⬤ Sanguis

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[sendinthedelta]

[He can't rewind time and even in a place like this he figures that's either difficult or near impossible for anyone else. He does want to try and make it up to her at the very very least, and hearing that she still wants to spend time with him is a relief.

He smirks at "make you eat those words" like he wouldn't absolutely enjoy that. Careful, Jill. You'll give the boy ideas.]

I'm glad you are.

[It's terrible how much she's had to endure in those years, but he would still rather have her alive and (relatively) healthy.

The look doesn't go amiss entirely, though it does take him a moment to catch on as he's looking up where the best places to get the needed supplies are. He glances over and blinks, head tilting slightly.]

Something on my face?

[torsion]

[ Maybe their connection was never as strong as it had been between them back then or maybe it's just that he hasn't gotten to the point that she has yet, over more than a decade of time, but it's easy to not give up on their friendship. Frustrating when she wants to hang out with him, but there are other reasons for that at times, too. She's still getting used to a lot of this. To him. ]

Alive? Congrats, so am I. [ She laughs a little, wiping some hair to the side of her face, just over her ear lobe. ] Christ, thirty-six come October. Bit weird, but not bad.

[ Maybe if she didn't take care of herself or looked older it might be a different tune.

She peers at him more intensely, naturally, when he draws attention to her gaze. ]

Mmm. Just looking at you. Same but different. A lot of it is your hair and facial hair, I guess -- not that I mind. Or I'd want you to change to suit what I've known. Just weird trying to figure things out. What more I might need to know or learn. Hard to not bring what I used to know into things and push those expectations away. [ She takes his arm now and looks ahead of her. Her hold is light, looping around his. ] But I'm happy to. I like you the way you are so... if I ever make you feel like I'd rather have someone else here, let me know. I'm not great at talking about my feelings or being reassuring, but you're a special case.

[sendinthedelta]

[Look, you just don't escape a city getting nuked after surviving zombies, mutants and money-grubbing Russians and not manage to form some sort of lasting connection.]

Not bad at all.

[He grins at her broadly. Age is just a number and they both probably feel far, far older than their numbers, but as far as he's concerned she looks amazing despite everything.]

Well, we didn't exactly get to talk about ourselves much past the introductions, so it's not like we really know much beyond uh, y'know. I was some poor schmuck duped by you know who and you were just trying to get the hell out of Racoon without getting turned into Nemesis mush.

[He shrugs, smiling lightly this time at the tight grip and the warm exchange of chroma.]

But, nah, you haven't made me feel like that. If you ever wanna know something you're more than welcome to ask, though.

[torsion]

[ It certainly can help. She'd drifted away with him and they'd related on a lot of things, mostly in regard to lifestyle and interests. Nerds. ]

See, that is an honest compliment.

[ Mostly, it's something she can wiggle out of. It doesn't feel like overt flattery. It's hard to read if he's just teasing or not half the time, but she supposes it's like getting a taste of her own medicine. Karma. ]

We had some time. Actions speak louder than words, anyway. [ Something she's said to Chris and he's made his own. The chroma is something Jill is still getting used to and to some degree, it makes her hesitate to touch people. It makes her feel like she doesn't fully have control. ] Yeah, well, you've seen my shoulder. You came up right after I was stabbed. Carried me to the church in the clocktower then went off to the hospital to look for something to help me, waited with me for days until I could get up and get out with you.

[ Sheepish, she keeps her eyes off him. Almost laser-focused and staring while not entirely seeing things ahead of them. It strains her heart. ]

It wasn't what you did for me that made me care about you or have us stick together as friends, you know. Doing... something like that matters, especially when no one else has ever done that sort of thing for me. I'm always the one putting my life on the line. It's the only time someone did that for me. [ She peers at him, but is quick to take action so it's harder to catch her expression; Jill dips in, swerves to the tips of her toes and gives him a little peck on his jawline. Quick to fall back in line like it never happens immediately after, though. ] Especially after everything that's happened to me over the past four years... it, it you know. Is something that matters.

[ (Weenie.) ]

[sendinthedelta]

[Just a bit of karma. Not too much. He'll tease back but he's never going to go overboard with it.]

God, yeah... that mess was... it was something else.

[He doesn't like thinking about that night. Minor details may have been different but he can imagine the him in that version still feeling the same heart wrenching fear, blood going cold at the sight of her, nausea nipping the back of his throat at the mere thought of having to--

Man, even now. Even now it makes his skin crawl. It's a thoughtless, reactionary motion to his own mind falling back down that rabbit hole but he puts his tan hand over hers on his arm, as if needing further anchor to return from the darkness. Her own gesture to him actually helps more than she might know, though it doesn't make him immune to a faint darkening of cheeks.]

I could tell. Even when all I knew about what happened to most of you team was passing whispers I knew you were fighting against absolutely insane odds. I'd been through my own hells but you alone had the guts to stand up to Umbrella. There was no way I was just going to let a fire like that die without trying...

[torsion]

[ All of it is overboard for her. She can handle very little of it and easily gets flustered, though that should be blatant to him by this point. ]

My leg was almost broken. Bandaged me awfully high up under my skirt, though, hm...

[ Lesson is clearly not learned as she carries on with it, apparently. She nearly seems delighted, as if she's caught him red-handed doing something else, something in the moment. ]

Nearly all of them died. Working with Wesker close to three years, I never once thought he'd betray us. I'd saved his life on more than one occasion, even. [ The regret is palpable, physical in how she holds herself. It's the kind of sorrow that can't be fought or hidden, even if she tries to desperately cover it up. It's left a scar of its own on her. ] I wasn't ever alone, you know. Chris and Claire were in Europe -- and you, too. It was impossible odds and you stuck by me when you had no reason to trust me.

[ Her smile is warmer now, less weakened by loss, by pain, by shared experience. ]

I'm grateful for you and I always will be. But I'm getting a little too serious, aren't I? Don't want to make you look emotional and uncool.

[sendinthedelta]

[Look, he's trying, okay? He can't not be him. It's going to happen even if he's dialed it waaaaaay back for her.

But that's also how much he cares about her. Enough to drop much of his pretenses and actually be serious with her and not just rely on terrible jokes and awful flirting to get through a conversation.

Also excuse you he so did not do that! ... buuuut he probably would have, had she actually been wearing a skirt, because it's not like he was just going to leave her to suffer.]

Honestly people like him are just that damn good at playing their cards exactly right. Nikolai was the same way. I mean we knew he was an asshole but he was an asshole that had pulled us out of trouble more than once before turning on us. Trusting you was the best thing I'd ever done, though. You made me start seeing there was cracks in the story before that jackass even started to show his true colors...

[He laughed at her final comment, rubbing the back of his messy hair. They were at least nearing one of the stores he had intended on going into, so the conversation could easily lead away from serious fairly soon.]

Even cool guys gotta have uncool moments sometimes.

[torsion]

[ Naturally, she knows he did it for the right reasons and is a sweet peach, but it's not going to stop her screwing with him. A little payback for all the flirting and teasing he's done over apparently two different lifetimes deserves a one-two punch right back. Finally. ]

It... I mean, I know it now. I'm surprised he held it back so long. He wouldn't go out with us on Friday nights to the bar or go bowling with us. It wasn't that strange at the time. [ Nothing will ever change the fact that she blames herself. It's just how it is and while she's let some of it go and shifted it on Wesker, there are still times when she can't help but see the missing pieces that she should've put together. But. ] ...hindsight's 20-20, though, isn't it? We both want to believe there are decent people out there, doing the right thing. I don't know if I was as nasty or harsh to you when we met as... I had been, but I'm sorry for that.

[ Jill isn't sure if he'd gotten an apology. She'd like to think other-her would eventually, but it might not be possible if he hadn't had the chance to get that far in... timelines? Christ. She hates this. ]

What cool guy are you talking about?

[ Her hand slips to his wrist, fingers delicately slipping over his palm, cautiously dipping between his own fingers. She is unaware of the store they're stopping at, but gets the feeling they're there from how he moves. It's this moment that she realizes she's been studying him more intensely than she'd even known. ]

[sendinthedelta]

Shit, honestly? I fucking deserved it.

[A bit much for the language, but it's necessary in his mind.]

I was just... so damn happy that someone was willing to take me in and give me a place after losing everyone back home. I would have rotted in a jail cell had Umbrella not grabbed me instead. But it made me really damn blind to what they were actually doing. I needed a wake up call bad and you hit me with one at the exact right time.

[She had been trying to steer things away from serious, yet here he was, blathering about just wanting to belong and not be punished for things he had to do to survive as a child and teenager.

He stopped at their destination but didn't go inside just yet, reluctant to cut off any physical contact but figuring he could at least finish his thought here. He turned to her, smile both sad and grateful and not at all like his usual goofy self even as he tried to spin it into something of a joke.]

Maybe I'm not as cool as I like to think I am, but you still trusted me and that makes me feel pretty damn cool.

[torsion]

What, you hit on me and tell me how all the ladies love your accent, too? Honestly, it was kinda gratifying when I hit you later but I promise it came from a place of love.

[ She'd wanted him to snap out of it and survive. She wanted him to make it out alive with her. He was strong enough. He just needed her to give him a push. ]

A guerilla fighter, right? [ Questioning, unsure if it's the same or if something else happened. But Jill didn't care what it might've been. She still trusted him without second thought, without waver. ] I know what that's like. And... for what it's worth, plenty saw what was going on and relished in it. It's been more than a decade of hunting them down. You're the only one who knew and turned away from them, Carlos.

[ She didn't give a shit if they were in public. And if he wanted to tell her, she'd listen. She wanted to know more about him almost desperately and she hangs onto his words, her grey eyes wide and focused on him alone. They might as well be back in his room.

Jill keeps watching him like she expects something else other than just these words, though she couldn't very well pin what. She's silent for a long while and well, screw it. Jill goes in for a hug without letting go of his hand. The other lifts to his shoulder and she has to strain to reach him better and pull him down to her chest; her hand goes to the back of his head, sifts through the hair and goes to the scalp. ]

Not past tense. You're the one I trust most here. Everything you dealt with... it's over. I know the way you are, the face you put on. I'm here and I'm not going to leave you behind. [ Slow and purposeful movements, though she breathes a little heavier, heart a little quicker. Intimacy isn't something she indulges in often, not even like this. But he needed it. So did she. ] I'm sorry it's different. Disappointing, even if you won't say it. But you matter to me.

[sendinthedelta]

[He can't stop the sputtering laugh that escapes, head shaking with his messy hair bouncing a bit.]

N-no, I didn't, but that does sound like something I would do. I probably deserved that hit then.

[Both situations were urgent but making a pass like that in a breathable moment is absolutely something he would have done. Sadly on his end of things there really wasn't one of those moments to be had. It had all gone full tilt the moment they stepped into Raccoon City.

But... back to serious, he nodded to her question about his background.]

I... was? [Shit. Yeah, a lot of them were dead well before Jill ever came into the picture, but shit. What mental gymnastics had they done to justify what Umbrella was doing? It scared him a little, thinking of what could have been if they had survived but had been still on the company's side. Would he have been forced to fight against his own comrades yet again?

The embrace was actually unexpected, how close they were standing not really registering as a lead into what she did next, and it actually grounds him surprisingly well from those wandering thoughts and that ill feeling coiling in his gut.

He really did put on a brave face in the wake of all that had happened, that should have dragged him down had he not refused so strongly, but he would be lying if he said that motion and her words didn't have him a little choked up. He hesitated holding her back if only because he knew touch was hard enough for her to deal with a normal day, but that pause was brief before he had his strong arms around her in return, muttering softly into the crook of her neck after being pulled down.]

Thank you, Jill...

[torsion]

I hit you because you were going to give up. I wasn't going to leave without you.

[ She didn't expect it to work, frankly. And she was no good at peptalks or encouragement. She wasn't soft like other women were, not the way she wished she could be a times. She's all broken glass and soil loose on her tongue; water inhaled. Fluorescent lights humming. Sacrifice and loss. ]

You had others? I'm glad. But it was only you. The best of them.

[ And one of the best people she knew to boot. She knows how to pick them, at least once she bothers to try and warm up. A better, harsher judge of characters since the Mansion Incident.

She expects nothing in return and she gets the one thing she might've needed the most. For a long time now, maybe. The comfort of touch will still be denied unless it's those that matter most, but she exhales audibly, warm breath against the side of his face. ]

Don't. You're worth it. I'm glad to give you whatever... meager thing I can. I'm sorry it's not more. I'll stay like this however long you need me to. Whenever.

[sendinthedelta]

Then yes, I absolutely deserved it.

[He'll never say it aloud, but he knows. He's seen it in her eyes, her walls and beyond them that need to just be touched, embraced gently, told without words it was okay to actually accept these things from others she trusted.

It's why he lingers on the hug. As much as he may need it, too, he wants to give that little bit more to her while he still can.]

Had. There were probably others who had an idea...

[But they didn't survive long enough to speak up, to ask why, what they were really doing there and how much of it was actually just "some random biological accident".]

It ain't meager to me, Jill. It's a lot.

[torsion]

Good. I'm glad you see it my way.

[ Clipped and righteous; no wiggle room for disagreement on that one. He likely wouldn't have considered how hard the slap was, though, but that's water under the bridge unless she'd have to go for it again. She knows she doesn't have to tell him she'd do it without hesitation if there was reason.

She holds herself in a certain way now, relaxing to something less stiff yet still on guard to some degree. Tight to his neck, allowing herself to inch away from the distance she lodges between them or simply accepts. Jill can't hear his heart beat, but she can imagine it. Steady against hers; enveloping. ]

Mm. For their own hides, though. [ She takes her time moving away, letting her hands follow the line of her movement, settling into the crooks of his elbow. ] You say that now, but this place runs on this sort of thing. There are others that will support you.

[ It's not implying she'll leave his side, but she knows logically there are others better equipped to give him affection and empathy and a human connection. Releasing him, she knocks his shoulder with a weak fist and starts off into the store ahead of him.

Just like her to cut any conversation that's potentially going somewhere important short. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[There are. He's already met some. He's making friends and connections all the while knowing she keeps herself so much guarded than he does. He understands, with what she told him. The future he had yet to experience, but it's his past that keeps him moving forward the way he does. He can't let himself become cold. He can't shut himself off that way. He would wither and crumble, a plant devoid of life giving water and sunlight.

He wishes he could be her sunlight.

Someday. Maybe. Or maybe never and he'll just have to be content with the friendship they've formed. That, he wouldn't trade for anything, even the chance to be closer than this. If it meant losing her in other ways he wouldn't let that happen. Friendship like this is nearly everything to him because without it he would have so very little.

There's a low chuckle at the hit, reeling playfully as if she'd knocked him off balance with such a light nudge before following her into the store.

It's okay, Jill. He's patient. And even if it doesn't go any further, he'll still be happy to have her at his side.]

[torsion]

[ It's something she's noticed about him. Even when he pushes people away, he pulls them closer. In some ways, it's enviable. Jill isn't particularly well-versed in that and has to be confronted to be fully transparent. She prides herself on being honest and direct, despite this.

She thinks less of herself, always, even if she's plenty confident. It never occurs to her that she could be special to someone. That what she did really could effect others, especially if it was sacrificing herself.

Without knowing exactly what they're going for, she doesn't get much ahead of him and settles beside him once he enters, walking next to him normally like their conversation didn't even happen. ]

Lead the way. And you better take advantage of it because I'm not always gonna let you be on point, you know.

[ Back to jokes. More comfortable. A known territory. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[He does have his own fears of losing too much, of hitting that as of yet unseen threshold of what he can actually handle before breaking entirely; that if he does actually try to find someone to be more than just passingly intimate with he might be doomed to lose them, too. It's almost always superseded by the constant need for companionship, though.]

H-hey! What are you saying about my skills, supercop?

[Jokes and nicknames.]

[torsion]

[ Ultimately, they're similar. They just handle their trauma outward in different ways. Jill might joke and tease, but never quite like he has. Especially not in serious moments like escaping Raccoon City. But things have changed.

Are changing. ]

Nothing. I just am letting you know I'm always going to be on top of you.

[ That's probably not the way to phrase it. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[Carlos is probably at least in some way convinced that if you make enough awful jokes and flirt hard enough the world won't actually explode into a fiery ball of death.

Speaking of--

Okay, that had to be unintentional, but... what if he...]

I didn't know you liked being that in control.

[torsion]

[ She's pretty sure that they lived because Barry got his ass over yonder with a helo, not because of Carlo's flirting.

It certainly helped make the path there less shitty, she guesses. ]

I don't always need to be in control. I just prefer it. [ She doesn't understand the problem. It's not a level that's so strange he should be commenting like that, especially when she's always messing with him and... she shoots him a frustrated look, face reddening in a visible way even as she huffs and tries to look busy. ] Oh. Funny. If you just have to know, I'm... assertive. That's all.

[ Where the hell is the meat aisle. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[Let him have his delusions. They're comfortable.]

Is that what they're calling it these days? I need to catch up.

[Maybe he shouldn't be saying these things near the aisle with canned goods because that's going to be some powerful ammunition if she feels the need to start hurling shit at him.]

[torsion]

[ She likes him well enough to not bludgeon him with cans. And that's saying a lot. ]

You're a real comedian today, you know that? [ All the more flustered, she walks ahead of him and peers up at the aisle signs. Last one, unsurprising. And back of store. She keeps some length ahead of him now, but it's only all the more damning. ] It's just who I am as a person. You should know that by now.

[ But for other reasons, too. Without realizing it, she's come to curl her fingers over her chest where the scar would be if her shirt was removed. Her time under Wesker's control is certainly part of it. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[His skull thanks her. Hard headed he may be, but cans can be deadly at the right force.]

Heheh alright, alright. I get it.

[He'll stop. He can't see what she's doing but her tone is enough to indicate the joke is over.

Besides, there's some spices he needs to look at as well, so he'll let her wander ahead while stopping to scan what's available on the shelf.]

[torsion]

[ She kind of prefers him alive, strangely enough. Though he may joke, the world really would be cold and cruel with him in it. Since he's arrived, she doesn't care to think of how things may be were he to disappear. ]

Sure you do. [ She just isn't as open as others around here might be. It's personal to her; between herself and her partners. ] ...can I help you with anything?

[ Her distance closes and she's more near now. Too close, maybe. She remains half behind, half beside, lifting her head. ]

[sendinthedelta]

[He'll be here as long as he possibly can. The powers that be don't seem to be tired of him yet and he's actually hoping it stays that way for a while.

To his credit, he doesn't visibly jump. He hadn't expected her to come back so suddenly so there was a bit of surprise in his eyes, but he's not that easily startled. Kind of hard to be after the shit he's been through.

He's grateful for the help, though, because while most of the ingredients in Prismatica aren't that far off from home he hasn't quite learned the labels yet.]

Uh, yeah, we're gonna want... [he pauses then ticks off some things on his fingers so he hopefully doesn't miss any] dried chili pods, garlic, cumin, oregano, salt, pepper and onion.